Wednesday, July 18, 2007

What, exactly, is it that you, uh ... do here?

Gerald Poindexter. I’m naturally suspicious of people named “Poindexter.” Ditto people in bow ties, which, in Gerald’s case, would be an improvement as there can’t be many DAs outside of Hawaii who grace the cameras in Hawaiian shirts. Then again, there can’t be many DAs who can watch agents clear a property of five dozen scarred pit bulls, bloody carpets, modified doggie treadmills, performance-enhancing drugs, something call a “rape stand” and then, when reporters ask whether somebody should be held accountable, reply “For what?

Michael “Heckuva job, Brownie” Brown. Sure, this is an oldie, but when your name shows up in the top Bushism of 2005, immortality is yours. Consider the runners-up:

· "See, in my line of work you got to keep repeating things over and over and over again for the truth to sink in, to kind of catapult the propaganda," Bush said in explaining his communications strategy in May 2005.

· "I think I may need a bathroom break. Is this possible?" Bush asked in a note to Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice during a U.N. Security Council meeting in September 2005.

· "This notion that the United States is getting ready to attack Iran is simply ridiculous. And having said that, all options are on the table," Bush said in Brussels last February 2005.

· "In terms of timetables, as quickly as possible - whatever that means," the president said of his timeframe for passing Social Security legislation in March 2005.

· "Those who enter the country illegally violate the law," Bush said in describing illegal immigrants in Tucson, Arizona, in November 2005

John Mackey. Like many people, John Mackey likes to post on message boards, blog and generally fart around on the Internet on company time. Unlike many people, John’s day job is chairman and CEO of a publicly traded company. Mackey confirmed last week that he spent eight years posting on Yahoo's financial message boards under the name Rahodeb, an anagram of his wife's name, Deborah. Many of his entries praised his company, Whole Foods, while blasting rivals such as Wild Oats Markets Inc., a company Whole Foods is trying to buy. So, after doing his damnedest screw Wild Oats investors and push down Wild Oats’ stock price in order to make them a more digestible acquisition target, Mackey wound up screwing his own investors by causing Whole Foods' shares to crater as a result.

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